“…People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” — Maya Angelou
‘Hygge‘ is a Danish concept about mindfulness. It captures one’s ability to make essential tasks in life dignified and fun, and how to live life better connected according to expert, Louisa Thomsen Brits.
Pronounced “hoo-gah” not “hig-gie”, unfortunately for me (sorry Will Smith) hygge values a sense of community, simplicity and cheerfulness.
Whether you’re in the hygge tribe (YAY for cosy warm socks, hot chocolate and nights in), a hygge skeptic (It’s called life, not hygge) or have never heard of it before (hyg…what?!), I wanted to bring this basic, but often difficult to attain concept of ‘happiness’ into the lives of reinventors.
Isn’t the point of life happiness?
If you strip back all your whys of reinvention, does it stem to ‘I want to be happy’?
So how can you give yourself a reinventor booster-shot and overall increase your sense of well-being?
1. Gratitude
Gratitude is appreciating what you have. Stoic philosophy advocate Ryan Holiday emphasises the importance of gratitude as “appreciating what you have, versus what you don’t have or could have”.
We so often so caught up in our daily lives and what’s missing — the lack of abundance, that we forget our blessings.
Numerous scientifically proven benefits of gratitude include better relationships with others, better empathy and increased self-esteem.
The highs and lows of reinvention can be described as the rollercoaster ride known as the ‘trough of sorrow’ which start-ups often experience, coined by Paul Graham.
Since the start of 2016, I’ve written a daily gratitude journal which entail:
- What I am grateful for in the day: It could be something as small as the smile on my niece’s face watching her eat a Kinder Surprise or as big as winning a new gig for your business. This gives you a reflection point and provides perspective — are your stresses really as big as you think they are? Think abundance mindset.
- What I’ve learnt today: Capturing learning ensures you are maximising opportunities, growing and ending each day a better person compared to who you started off as. The other night I fixed Reintention after breaking it and my learnings were: “Always back up your blog. You learnt how to use FTP and fixed code! :)”
- What I love about myself: Sounds corny, but this helps with what I called the “Steve Jobs test” in an earlier post. If you end each day and can’t list the things that you love about yourself that day, something has to change. If you do get stuck, what are some of your goals that you can act upon and bring closer to realising?
My 2017 journal has a daily footer which asks a question as per above. It gets me thinking, drawing, reflecting on my past which has been a fun little exercise.
What you’re grateful for and how you express gratitude is up to you, however I encourage you to experiment and see what works consistently. Want to show gratitude through interpretive dance? Go for it.
2. Meditation and positive affirmations
Mediation another buzz and current hype, was popularised through the New Age movement and go-getter, biohacking entrepreneurs of Silicon Valley. So what’s the big deal?
Similarly to gratitude, a plethora of research presents mediation benefits as increased productivity, decreased anxiety and the ability to rewire your brain’s thinking (another topic I will geek about; neuroplasticity in a future post).
Meditation is important because of hedonic adaption. Frequent exposure to emotional stimuli has a diminishing impact. Simply, we get ‘used’ to good or bad things that happen to us.
Ever take something for granted? Meditation helps reset points in which we gloss over things and assists with objectivity.
Henry Ford said “If you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right”. Positive affirmations are crucial in happy reinvention because it keeps us focused and driven. Optimism improves your health, helps goal achievement and makes you magnetic. Who doesn’t want to be around someone with positive vibes?
Most of us struggle with meditation because we believe:
“I don’t have the time”
“I can’t shut out thoughts (it’s too hard).”
Spending 5–10 minutes meditating can give you minutes if not hours back in your day through productivity, so why wouldn’t you? Secondly, meditation doesn’t need you to sit in silence like a monk in an orange robe in the Himalayas.
Transcendental meditation is the most common form and involves the use of mantra.
I prefer Vishen Lakhiani’s ‘Six- Phase’ practice in the morning because it allows you to focus on areas of life and promotes thinking.
The phases are:
Happiness in the Now
- Compassion — start small and focus compassion on one thing — it could be your spouse, a friend, your child, you niece/nephew and watch those emotions expand.
- Gratitude — double dose your gratitude with what are you grateful for today? What gives you a kick in your step?
- Forgiveness — forgiveness is really important in letting go and rewiring your thinking. What self-limiting beliefs or bias have you held onto? What toxic people, thoughts, experiences hold you back and keep you stuck?
Visions of the Future
- Future Dreams — What goals do you have for this year or next year? What steps can you start today and what have you done so far? Where have you learnt and what can you improve?
- Perfect Day — think of your perfect day today (if mediating in the morning, if at night think of your next day). Envisaging your perfect day allows you to reset yourself should bad things happen.
- Future blessings / affirmations — Irrespective of religious or spiritual beliefs what blessings and positive thoughts do you wish for yourself? What do you need to focus on? What do you want to manifest?
My meditation and self-talk routine can take 10 minutes daily but extend to long as I need.
I enjoy using Zig Ziglar’s Self-Talk cards as the foundation of my daily self-affirmation. You don’t have to use all 6 cards laminated on your tall-boy, but tailor dot points and attributes relevant to you.
Don’t like talk cards? Stick post-it notes with positive messages or affirmations on your vanity or mirror. Incorporate it into your mediations.
It may seem silly initially, but you will feel the benefits and positive patterns with use of this practice.
3. Purposeful time with yourself and others
A core human need is the desire for connection. Feeling connected is an enabler for creating networks, leveraging and learning off others, keeps us from hermit-hood and prevents FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).
This needs to be balanced with time for yourself, where most of the goal setting, reflecting and rest and recuperation occurs.
Reinventing can be a hectic, especially coupled with other aspects such as money, family and friends and the trough of sorrow. Instead of drowning in this vortex:
- Set a weekly vision of what you need to get done — ‘non-negotiables’ and all the other things you would like to do. What are their priorities?
- Block out time for yourself each day (could be 30 minutes) to go through your routine and daily habits.
- When spending time with others, rid of distractors such as electronic devices and stay present. Go outside, explore something new. Enjoy their company. Be glad for the small things.
- Seek quality relationships with yourself and others. Less is not more.
- Set challenges because you want to do these things not because you feel you have to (don’t chase your tail always striving for the next high. Hedonic adaption anybody?)
- Understand that solitude is a good thing. Read, listen to music, reap in the benefits.
Reintention Rehash:
- What gives you happiness? Write down the activities, people and experiences. How do they relate to your reinvention?
- Make a list of what you’re grateful for today. What’s a way you can make this a daily practice?
- If you haven’t tried mediation perhaps you could incrementally start — start off with one phase of the Six Phase and build up?
- Make a list of all the positive attributes and things you wish for yourself. It could be “I love the way I can read people” or “Be the presence you want to be around”. Read them to yourself daily.
- Do you have a quality balance of time for yourself vs time with others?
